euu typedd*:
blog
(Thursday, May 10, 2007-)
+7:51 PM]*
# walk walk walk and a little bit of dilbert-
on a walking spree these days to cut costs of transport. walked to ps today and took me abt. 40 min there and 35 min back, covering a total of abt 5km. in army terms, i should be able to clear that in abt 20 mins of running. lol.
went to the library the other day with stan, mike and hanyang and borrowed some books on marketing, business, economics and politics aka dilbert. for the uninformed, dilbert is a comic strip on cubicle life as an engineer. now i love dilbert for its intellectual jabs at office politics and manageral incompetence, i survived my poly years with it. lol.
some jabs:
---------------------------------------- ON CRITICISM
manager: "Dilbert, this is Peggy the PR Director. I want you to review her press release for technical accuracy."
dilbert: " Who wrote this? A trained squirrel? I don't know where to begin. I'll cross out the run-on sentences and transparent lies first. Then the failed attempts of cuteness... the spelling errors... grammar...
There you go. Remember, criticism makes you stronger."
"POW"
dilbert: " It was a mistake to make her stronger.."
---------------------------------------- ON UNFORSEEN CIRCUMSTANCES
Manager: The project will take six months.. unless there are unforseen problems."
Dilbert: Question. Your leadership has made me unmotivated. Is that considered forseen or unforseen? And Wally is dysfunctional on many levels.
Wally: I really am.
Dilbert: Was that forseen? Or are you saying the schedule is random?
Dilbert: He looks mad.
Alice: I didn't see that coming.
------------------------------------------ ON URGENCY VS IMPORTANCE
Manager: This is urgent. Stop what you're doing and work on it right now.
Dilbert: Is it more important that what i was doing?
Manager: I don't know what you were doing.
Dilbert: Exactly. So how could you know if this is more important?
Manager: You could work late and do both.
Dilbert: Work late? Is this more important than my health?
Manager: Forget it! I'll have Alice do it.
Wally: Just out of curiosity. What are you doing?
Dilbert: Playing "Quake".
------------------------------------------- ON CALCULATIONS
Manager: Good news on your budgets. I did some recalculating last night. I found a way to give more money to every project without increasing the total budget for projects!
Wally: Question. Does you new way involve poor math skills?
Alice: Ignore the skeptic. I have a suggestion! Maybe you could recalculate our salary budget next.
Dilbert: And when was the last time you recalculated our vacation days?
Wally: I calculate that we have an hour left for this meeting. But I'm interested in your calculation.
after meeting, each of them with a hundred dollars..
Dilbert: I think we got greedy when we asked if he had change for a five.
--------------------------------------------- ON GOALS AND BACKSTABBING
Manager: I can only give you a 2% raise this year, Alice. Because your job was not very challenging.
Alice: How could you possibly think it wasn't challenging?
Manager: You exceeded all your goals without complaining. Compare that to Wally's performance. He complained all year and he missed every goal! Now That's a challenging job!
Alice: Wally is a Filthy Weasel!!
Manager: Maybe his hygiene isn't the best. But he was right when he said you would stab him in the back.
--------------------------------- ON HITTING GOALS
Manager: Our goal this year is zero disabling injuries. Last year our goal was twenty-six disabling injuries. In retrospect, that was a mistake. We had to injure nine employees to meet the goal. If you have an injury, fill out these forms immediately.
Wally: These are resgination forms.
Manager: If you cover the word "resignation" with your thumb, it's an injury report.
Wally: This place makes me sick.
Dilbert: We'll miss you.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
the story ends like this;
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(Thursday, May 3, 2007-)
+9:19 PM]*
# ouch-
Ouch.
once bitten
twice shy they say
once bitten
two-fold revenge I say
once bitten
give your other cheeck He says
once smitten
now bitten
I try.Labels: vid
the story ends like this;
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