euu typedd*:
blog
(Monday, March 30, 2015-)
+7:49 AM]*
# ant-fall-grace theory-
this morning, a brother confided in me his struggles. struggles that most guys know all too well.
i prayed for him and kept him in mind.
while preparing breakfast, i took a bottle of honey to mix into my bowl of oats.
naturally, there would a lot of ants scurrying around the bottle so i started to flick them off.
then came a question that i had always wondered: do ants die when they fall off high places?
my conclusion was no. their small and nearly weightless bodies are not resistant enough to wind and air, thus lightening the impact on the ground.
isn't that what God's grace is like?
whenever we fall, God's winds of grace are so much bigger and stronger than us and will lift us up, sometimes higher than where we were before.
theology is beautiful when it mixes with our humanity, our heart and our spirit.
if it just exists in our minds and engages our intellect alone, we have missed the point.
the story ends like this;
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(Sunday, March 29, 2015-)
+9:42 PM]*
# faith and tenacity-
Doing my BSF homework regarding the life of Moses.
Throughout the study, you can evidently tell that Moses matured and grew more confident in God with each confrontation with Pharaoh.
Thus, i derive this principle: Moses' experience with God form the baseline from which he will relate with God from.
Reflecting on my own life, why is it I doubt God's providence when He had already provided for me in the past?
Is it an issue of faith?
suppose God provided for me financially.
I gain +10xp in trust in God.
With that, i can relate to God more deeper.
Now suppose i am facing financial lack further down the timeline.
ive had the 10xp from my experience with God providing me before.
does it take faith to believe that He will provide again? or tenacity to stand firm in what i already know?
i think sometimes what i lack is the tenacity to stand firm in my beliefs.
the story ends like this;
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(Friday, March 27, 2015-)
+11:05 PM]*
# spiritual defilement and negative equity-
Ps Juliet came up to me today just to catch up on my health and all.
She shared that as she was praying for me, she sensed strong warfare against me.
And in the midst of our conversation, she stopped and asked: "Do you smell incense?"
At that moment, i knew where this was going.
"Nope, i don't." I replied.
"Yes, its quite strong." She said as she smelled around.
She went to another corner and to another cubicle.
"The smell is only around here." She shared.
Mind you, i work in a church. there was no reason for incense to be there. And it confirmed my suspicions. it was a spiritual thing.
it was coming from my cubicle / my person.
and she showed me the hairs on her hand. they were all standing.
I regard Ps Juliet highly like a god-mother, and i know her experiences in deliverance and ministry. i didn't doubt her at all.
and she immediately jumped into prayer. she bound all unclean spirits and cut all ungodly ties and links to any defiling thing. she prayed the blood of Christ over me to cleanse me. she prayed and broke the powers of curses and sin over me.
as she prayed, a few things were running in my mind:
is it really me?
where have i let the enemy in?
will Ps Juliet think that i'm sinning against the Lord?
that last thought was quite funny there in retrospect. and indeed she did ask if i had knowingly or unknowingly let the enemy in.
it was a really humbling experience. and indeed going back to what i've learnt in negative equity, probably i did.
God has established the law of sowing and reaping.
the more you sow in obedience to God, the more you will reap in positive spiritual equity.
the same can be said in sowing in disobedience to God, which reaps the consequences of negative spiritual equity.
where have i gone wrong? might not be today or yesterday.
perhaps unconfessed sin.
perhaps the times i've looked lustfully at someone else.
the times i've harbored fantasies in my head.
the times i've let rage drive my thoughts.
the times i've exploded on the people of God.
the times i've let video games consume my thoughts and drive my actions.
when i think of incense, it leads me to a temple.
perhaps, i've offered incense to an idol.
i've desecrated God's temple, my body, and offered incense to an idol.
that, was such a retching thought. and how abominable idolatry can be.
"Father in heaven, i confess that i have sinned against You. in my heart, my thoughts and actions, i have sinned against You and Your people. Forgive me Father. And I thank You for Your sacrifice, Lord Jesus, that has taken away the Father's wrath. There is no more punishment for my sin because of Your blood. Amen "
the story ends like this;
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(Thursday, March 26, 2015-)
+8:45 AM]*
# LKY-
Our first prime minister, Mr Lee Kuan Yew passed on last Monday and our whole nation is in a state of mourning.
Countless eulogies and stories of his life have been propagated and shared. Yet, there are also much heresies being riled up by the dissidents.
Whether there is truth in what any of them say, i think it is not a problem for my generation. those things are entrenched in the past, while we look towards the future.
he may have made morally unsound judgements, but haven't we all done that?
he may have appeared like a dictator and wicked as some say, so we wish for unilateral justice and to be rid of him?
my take is this: i look at his family.
Mr Lee was someone else's son and someone else's father.
look and listen to the story of his family life.
he might bluff the world, but he can't bluff his family all his life.
if he really was that wicked, his children would have ratted on him by now.
i look at my own father.
sure, he's not perfect. but i know, that i really know, that he loves me.
people might say bad things about him, that's all impertinent. he loves me.
Mr Lee Kuan Yew was not a perfect man. but he certainly was dedicated to our country.
to give his life to build a place to live, whether for his own purposes or not, matters little in the long run. we do have much we owe to his works and efforts.
Mr Lee Kuan Yew, i salute you for your dedication to our country and home.
i am inspired to reach your level of passion and dedication.
may you rest in peace.
the story ends like this;
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(Saturday, March 21, 2015-)
+12:03 AM]*
# catharsis, causation and correlation-
8 years have passed since my last post.
8 loooooooooong years. much has transpired, transitioned and transposed.
so why am i back? well, i guess for catharsis mainly. i think i always liked writing. but being the messy person that i am, i write all over the place. post-it pads, ipods, notebooks, journals, blogs, what have you.
anyway, having attended a lecture by Dr Christopher Yuan today on Homosexuality: nature or nurture.
this debate has been going on for ages and while many in the west have used nature as an arguement, the church in Singapore has gone with nurture as one of the primary causes.
and so begins the lecture on etiology. the study of causes.
having done statistics in poly was surely a help in understanding the difference in causations and correlations.
simply put, a study done showed that when there was an increase in the sales of ice-cream, there was also an increase in murder rates. so are ice-cream the cause of murder rates? or do murderers simply feel like eating ice cream after their crime?
if you look at this in an cause-and-effect way, logic would present either scenarios. though highly unlikely that ice cream causes hallucinogenic effects nor qualm the satiation of a murder.
However, once you factor in correlations, everything changes.
both these rates went up are simply the effects of something else entirely. you can make the only logical inference from here yourself.
that being said, Dr Christopher Yuan presented something that has been bugging me for a really long time: that it really is both nature and nurture. there is no one determining factor causing this, but a myriad of factors that correlate and cause.
being in the ministry for quite some time, i did have thoughts on this. perhaps the church in singapore got it wrong or are simply misinformed.
if the problem was that of nature, one would have no hope for change. it was predetermined.
if the problem was that of nurture, one would have changed far more easily because it would be a matter of personal determination.
however, if the problem is both nature and nurture, it is a predisposition. one would be more inclined to act out in certain ways that are influenced by both genetics and environment. one could affect change through willpower and determination and yet one would also fall because of the disposition.
does this not remind you of Paul's apparent lament in Romans 7? i do the things i do not want to do, and vice versa.
what we have here is simply this: sin.
this whole thing can be transplanted on other acts like stealing, lying, acts of arson, addiction, etc. and it still all adds up.
we are sinful in nature. we are nurtured by sinful people in a fallen and sinful world.
it is a sin problem.
if we really acknowledged all that, then the only logical conclusion is that the solution does not exist. not in this fallen world. it can only be found in a world without sin.
the story ends like this;
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